From the eyes of the MOM.
Our first day back to school appeared pinterest worthy, facebook friendly, and incredibly instagramable. But you didn’t see me hiding in the closet or in a mini-meltdown. But oh yeah – that happened.
You know what else happened? Forgiveness, prayer, and lots of love.

The morning started The night before I FORGOT to remind my kids our back to homeschool morning would start with a family devotional they needed to WAKE up for. A gold star idea came to me (divine revelation, I sincerely believe!) when I decided to wake everyone up to the aroma of bacon. It worked. We ate bacon and eggs while I gave a short family devo. I introduced a new character trait and after a short discussion, we prayed. What a sweet time to start our school year! The only thing missing – Dad, who had an early morning meeting. I excused everyone to make their beds and take care of personal hygiene before starting school. Yes, they had permission to stay in PJs.

As I made my bed, I just wanted to hide. I dreaded the next part. Feared it. It’s what kept me up at night.

Starting school with my struggling learner.

All of a sudden, I found people I needed to text – RIGHT AWAY. Making my bed and fluffing my pillows took for-ev-er. When someone knocked on my bedroom door, I ran to the closet. When I realized the extent my fear kept me hostage, I prayed. Finding my strength tucked in His arms, I let Him hold me while I confessed my fear and asked for His strength.

I took a deep breath, planted a smile on my face, and went downstairs to begin the lesson.

When my daughter caught on that things were being done differently, the dreaded defiant fit began. The fear overtook me and my smile disappeared. I did not speak words of encouragement and love. She fell into her old patterns of frustration and I fell into mine. ALL within the first two minutes of our school day. Before I said anything regretful, I sent her to her room.

And I went back to mine. Straight to the closet to pray.

(Stay tuned for the rest of the story!)